When Sichuan spicy met my kitchen disaster: the adventures of fish-flavored shredded pork

That damn "fish-scented" misunderstanding

To be honest, I didn't know that there was no fish in "Fish Fragrance" at all.

Until last Tuesday night, I was scrolling through my phone, my fingers mechanically sliding the screen. Suddenly, a video popped up. Red oil. Shiny shredded meat. A close-up shot of that thick sauce wrapped in each ingredient. My stomach immediately made a loud noise, like a frog jumping in it. The title of the video reads: "Authentic Sichuan fish-flavored shredded pork, you can also make it at home!" ”

"You can do it at home." These words are traps.

I'm a German who has lived in Toronto for twelve years. My cooking comfort zone is limited to boiling potatoes and pan-frying sausages. Complicated? does not exist. But at that moment, some crazy impulse took control of me. I'm going to make this dish. I want that taste. Even if I'm just an amateur player who can cut green onions to my fingers.

Pain points? The pain point is that I thought that as long as I followed the video, I could get that taste. Reality gave me a loud slap in the face, and it was with peppercorns.

Chaos, smoke and that damn cat

It took me two hours to purchase ingredients. Bean paste. Pickled peppers. Aged vinegar. White sugar. Starch. These things look so innocent in my cart. When I got home, put on my apron, I felt like a rock star about to take the stage.

Then, disaster began.

Shredded meat is a nightmare. The pork slides around on the chopping board like a real fish. I cut them in different thicknesses, some like toothpicks, some like fingers. Forget it. Put it in the pot. The oil is hot, I pour the meat into it. With a "zila", white smoke rose into the air.

And so on. The taste is not right.

Not the tempting spiciness. It is a ...... The strange burnt bitterness is mixed with a feeling that makes my tongue numb instantly.

Mistake. Big one. Oh god.

My hands were shaking. Really. I wanted to take the chili powder, but I grabbed the wrong bottle. That's Sichuan peppercorn powder. A whole tablespoon. Pour directly into the hot oil.

The air froze. No, it's the air screaming. My eyes started to water, and my nose seemed to be blocked. The numbness spread from the tip of the tongue to the entire mouth, like swallowing a hundred small batteries.

• My cat, the orange cat who usually only sleeps, suddenly jumped onto the cooking table, let out a frightened cry at the pot of red oil, and knocked over the vinegar bottle next to it.
• A police car happened to pass by outside the window, and the sound of sirens mixed with my cough, it was a symphony.

Panic. Absolute panic. What should I do? Dump? That's waste. Continue? Will it poison people?

I grabbed my phone, my fingers were covered in oil, and the screen was so slippery that I couldn't unlock it at all. Finally opened the browser. Search: "What to do if you put too much peppercorns First aid".

No one told me to add milk. No one said to add sugar either.

A flash of inspiration. Or a fight in despair. I remembered that when my grandmother used to make stew, she would add potatoes if it was too salty. Is that too numb? Acid? Sweet? The fish-flavored shredded pork itself is sweet and sour!

I grabbed the sugar bowl. Not the kind of careful scattering. Yes, it is inverted. A large spoon. Two tablespoons. Then there is vinegar. More vinegar. I want to use extreme sweetness and sourness to suppress the damn numbness.

There was a strange gurgling sound in the pot. The color became darker, like some unknown chemical agent. I took a bite.

Still hemp. But this time, there was a hint of eerie sweetness in the hemp. It's like eating an electrified candy.

This brings us to a cruel truth:

Sometimes, the best way to ruin a dish is to want it to be done well.

But I didn't give up. I cut another handful of chopped green onions and sprinkled them on top. The green chopped green onions looked particularly vivid in the black sauce, like flowers blooming from a quagmire. I served the dishes. There were still a few drops of red oil on the edges of the plate, which looked like ...... A little tempting?

That kind of visual deception is too strong.

• I picked up my chopsticks, my hands still shaking slightly.
• I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, as if I was going to die.

entrance.

The first thing that hits the taste buds is the numbness. It was like countless small needles being pricked. But then, the excessive sweet and sour taste that I forcibly added came up. Instead of eliminating numbness, they reached a strange reconciliation with numbness. The shredded pork is a bit old, but the sauce is so rich that you can't resist.

It is not authentic. Absolutely unauthentic. Sichuan people may want to hit people after eating.

But it can be eaten. Moreover, it is actually a little delicious?

Don't learn from me, but you can try

So, you ask me if I succeeded?

Neither is nor is it not. I made a "Toronto German Improved Electric Fish-Flavored Shredded Pork".

If you want to try it too, listen, this is my blood-tear advice, be sure to stick to it, don't be a headless fly like me:

Q: What if I accidentally put too much peppercorns?
A: Don't add sugar like I did. Add some rice, or simply redo it. Really, redo it faster.

Q: What is the biggest pitfall of making this dish for beginners?
A: Prepare dishes. Cut everything and put it in a bowl. Don't look for seasonings while stir-frying, then you will burn the kitchen.

Action suggestion:
The next time you want to try an exotic dish, get a friend by your side first. Not to help, but to have someone hold your hand or at least make an emergency call when you pour the whole bottle of vinegar into it.

As for me?

I'm still sitting in this chair. The numbness in my mouth hasn't completely subsided. The cat is still staring at the remaining shredded meat on the plate. I want to go serve another bowl of rice.

And so on.

The water on the stove seems to be on. I just boiled water and wanted to make tea.

Forget it, let it go. This numbness is actually quite good. One more bite. Just one bite.