Coke, chicken wings, and that damn shrimp slide

His throat tightened. It's the feeling that you know a disaster is coming, but your body is immobilized as if you are frozen. I want to make that dish. The "Coke Chicken Wings Wrapped in Shrimp Slippery" that was a mess in the short video. It is said to be from Sichuan, and although I am a German who has lived in Vancouver, Canada for twelve years, this does not prevent me from developing a certain morbid obsession with this crazy combination of sweet and spicy. On Friday night, it was that typical Vancouver cold rain outside the window, pounding on the glass, ticking, ticking. The house was quiet, only the fridge compressor was buzzing. I decided to do it. The excitement rises like sparkling water. I want to be the one who can serve amazing food at a friend's party. Even if my usual highest achievement is to bake frozen pizza less charred.

The reason is simple. I was swiping my phone, sliding my finger mechanically. Suddenly, a video pops out. Golden chicken wings, cut open, inside is chewy shrimp smooth, coated in a thick cola sauce. The blogger smiled brightly and said that this is the "secret system of Sichuan". Sichuan? Coke? Shrimp slippery? It sounds like a prank. But that color, that luster, hooked my stomach. I rushed into the supermarket like a possessed person. Buy chicken wings, fresh shrimp, Coke, and a bunch of Chinese seasonings that I can't name at all. When I got home, I put on my apron. Feel like a chef.

Until that error happens.

Deboning. Deboning chicken wings is a technical job. In the video, people do a good job, and when the tip of the knife turns, the bones come out. into my hands? It is simply the scene of surgical failure. The nail is broken. It hurts. Forget it. Finally, the bones are gone. Then there is the shrimp slide. I chop the shrimp, add egg whites, add starch. Stir. At this time, the phone rang. It's my mother. She asked me if I would go home for dinner on the weekend. While coping with "Hmm, okay", my hands kept stirring the pot of shrimp paste. So invested. It's really invested.

Then, disaster strikes.

I'm going to stuff the shrimp slide into the chicken wings. The video says to use a spoon or a piping bag. I don't have a piping bag. I used a spoon. Stuff it in. Looks good. Next. Next one. It wasn't until I was ready to fry that I realized something was wrong. Chicken wings look a bit ...... The bulge is strange. It's like a frog that has been eaten. I didn't think much about it. Pour oil. Heat the pan. Put the chicken wings in. Zila - the sound is very pleasant. The aroma begins to spread. The sweetness of cola is mixed with the salty aroma of soy sauce. And so on. Why is there a fishy smell? It's not the normal meaty smell, it's a sharper, more frowning taste.

I leaned closer to the pot. Take a deep breath.

OMG.

Shrimp line.

I forgot to go to the shrimp line.

At that moment, my mind went blank. There is no logical analysis, no rational thinking of "why did I make this mistake". There is only panic. Pure, raw panic. The black, dirty shrimp line was still inside, and as the temperature contracted, the earthy smell in the sea was locked in the belly of the chicken wings. It's over. It's all over. Dozens of Canadian dollars of ingredients and two hours of hard work will turn into a pot of garbage with the smell of marine silt.

A truck drove by outside the window, and the rumbling sound made the windows tremble. The oil in the pot was still bursting, splashing a drop on the back of my hand. Hiss—it hurts. But I don't care.

It cannot be dumped. Absolutely not.

I was going around the kitchen like a madman. The phone fell to the ground and the screen cracked. Forget it. I grabbed my phone and searched for "how to get rid of the fishy smell emergency" with trembling fingers. The words on the screen are dancing. Some people say add ginger, some say add cooking wine. Ginger? I cut a large piece, without even peeling it, and threw it directly into the pot. Cooking wine? I rummaged through the cabinet and found only one bottle of expired white wine. Forget him! Pour it in. Most of the bottles. The alcohol volatilized, bringing a burst of flames. I was so scared that I took a step back and hit the trash can. Boom.

"Calm down. Calm down. I said to myself. The voice was shaking.

I added another handful of peppercorns. It's not the top one in Sichuan, it's the old goods bought in the supermarket discount area. Forget it. Then there was a lot of coke. I originally planned to drink half a bottle, but I poured a whole bottle. The bubbles surged wildly, masking the disgusting fishy smell. I cover the pot and reduce the heat. Prayer. Silently pray that any god who may exist, whether German or Sichuan, can bless this pot of things to come back to life.

Time passed minute by minute. A strange smell fills the kitchen. Caramel flavor? The smell of alcohol? There is also a faint hint of peppercorns. The fishy smell seemed to be suppressed. Or rather, it is covered up. I'm not sure.

Twenty minutes later. Open the lid.

Steam came to my face. The sight in front of me stunned me. The sauce thickens and takes on an attractive deep amber color that hangs on the wings and is shiny. The fishy smell was gone. Instead, it is a complex, layered aroma. Sweet, spicy, numb, and the caramel sensation characteristic of cola.

I picked one up. Hands are shaking a little. took a bite.

The skin is slightly charred and the chicken is tender on the inside. The moment the teeth cut off the shrimp and slipped, the Q-bomb texture burst into my mouth. Wait, that taste...... There is no fishy smell? On the contrary, because of the addition of a little peppercorns and white wine, there is an indescribable exotic style. It's like encountering a rain in Vancouver on the streets of Sichuan. Ridiculous, but delicious. It's so delicious that I want to cry.

This experience made me understand that cooking is never scripted. It is chaos, it is accident, it is survival after the temptation on the edge of disaster. The perfect recipe does not exist, only the ingredients you have at hand at this moment and your intuition.

• Never, never handle seafood while on the phone.
• If you mess up, don't throw it, increase the firepower, add more seasoning, sometimes mistakes are the soul.

The true meaning of cooking is not not to make mistakes, but that you have the courage to eat that pot of "disaster" and fall in love with it.

So, the next time you want to try something new, fear not. Even if you forget to remove the shrimp line, even if you use sugar as salt. Life is like this, full of such rushing moments.

Action Suggestions (or "Help-Saving Guides")

If you're making this dish too, or any similar "fusion dish," keep this in mind:

Q: If I really forget to go to the shrimp line, is there any salvation?
A: Yes. Don't panic. Like me, use heavy seasonings to suppress. Lots of ginger, garlic, cooking wine (or any high wine), and peppercorns. High temperatures and strong spices are your friends. If it really doesn't work, dig out the shrimp and reprocess it, although it is troublesome, it is better than eating a mouthful of sand.

Q: Do Coke chicken wings have to be made in Sichuan?
A: Who cares? This is your kitchen. You can add curry, cheese, or even Lao Gan Ma. The rules are for others to see, and the taste is your own.

Now, I'm going to clean up the trash can that I knocked over. Also, the burn on the back of the hand hurts a little. But this dish, hey, is really good. Do you want a piece? Only the last one remains.